My baby is 1
So today, the 28th, at 8:14 a.m. my son turned 1 year old.
It was just yesterday, at least it seemed like it, that I was in the waiting/holding area waiting to be taken into the operating room for my c-section. I remember how nervous, no terrified I was about the unknown. About the surgery, about becoming a mother, about the little person that I was bringing into this world. Looking back I laugh a little at my fears. I had every right to be nervouse about the surgery and about what kind of mother I would be but not about the little person who would forever change my world. What a blessing that day has been to me!!!
As a teacher I thought I knew what being a parent would be like. I became so close to many of my students that sometimes they felt like mine. But until you hold your own child, the person that is half you, in your arms you are clueless about what it means to be a parent or what it means to love!! I was SO shocked that I could love someone so much more than anything else in life. I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but I choose to love him everyday. There is no choosing love for my son, it's automatic. He has me heart and soul. Even on the days that are tuff, the waking at 4:15 in the morning (as he has been doing for the last week), I love him. I might be irritated but I love him, there is no choosing to love him, it's just there. I now understand what it means when people say they would die for their kids. Again, there is no question, no hesitation, yes, I would gladly lay my life down for Maddux. What an amazing love that is. I am shocked by it everyday!!!
This year has known it's hardships and it's trials. I think the hardest is what others think you should do. I would love to say I'm a strong personality and that I dont care what others say, but I do care what others say about me and it hurts when they dont respect me for the choices as a parent that I make. So that has been the hardest struggle for me that and the lack of sleep. GOOD GRIEF! Will I ever sleep past 8 again? :) It is worth it though. Every second, of every minute, of every day of every year. My son is worth it!! I feel honored to be his Mommy. I feel honored that God chose me to raise him. I just want to be the best Mommy I can be and to raise him to be what God wants him to be!!!
So now, looking back on the first year of parenthood, would I do it again? HECK YEAH. Am I ready to do it again, HECK NO! :) I plan to enjoy my son at every stage in his life. To be there and love each moment. When the time comes for another one then we will enjoy the lives of our next child as well. This life is meant to be lived and enjoyed! I think kids help you do that!!
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY my sweet angel Maddux. Thank you for bringing more joy to my life than you will ever possibly know!! I hope I make you proud in the year to come!
My baby, you will never know how much I love you.
It was just yesterday, at least it seemed like it, that I was in the waiting/holding area waiting to be taken into the operating room for my c-section. I remember how nervous, no terrified I was about the unknown. About the surgery, about becoming a mother, about the little person that I was bringing into this world. Looking back I laugh a little at my fears. I had every right to be nervouse about the surgery and about what kind of mother I would be but not about the little person who would forever change my world. What a blessing that day has been to me!!!
As a teacher I thought I knew what being a parent would be like. I became so close to many of my students that sometimes they felt like mine. But until you hold your own child, the person that is half you, in your arms you are clueless about what it means to be a parent or what it means to love!! I was SO shocked that I could love someone so much more than anything else in life. I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but I choose to love him everyday. There is no choosing love for my son, it's automatic. He has me heart and soul. Even on the days that are tuff, the waking at 4:15 in the morning (as he has been doing for the last week), I love him. I might be irritated but I love him, there is no choosing to love him, it's just there. I now understand what it means when people say they would die for their kids. Again, there is no question, no hesitation, yes, I would gladly lay my life down for Maddux. What an amazing love that is. I am shocked by it everyday!!!
This year has known it's hardships and it's trials. I think the hardest is what others think you should do. I would love to say I'm a strong personality and that I dont care what others say, but I do care what others say about me and it hurts when they dont respect me for the choices as a parent that I make. So that has been the hardest struggle for me that and the lack of sleep. GOOD GRIEF! Will I ever sleep past 8 again? :) It is worth it though. Every second, of every minute, of every day of every year. My son is worth it!! I feel honored to be his Mommy. I feel honored that God chose me to raise him. I just want to be the best Mommy I can be and to raise him to be what God wants him to be!!!
So now, looking back on the first year of parenthood, would I do it again? HECK YEAH. Am I ready to do it again, HECK NO! :) I plan to enjoy my son at every stage in his life. To be there and love each moment. When the time comes for another one then we will enjoy the lives of our next child as well. This life is meant to be lived and enjoyed! I think kids help you do that!!
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY my sweet angel Maddux. Thank you for bringing more joy to my life than you will ever possibly know!! I hope I make you proud in the year to come!
My baby, you will never know how much I love you.
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