Transformation
So, this past month I've been doing a lot of transformation in my life. What a good, scary sentance to start off with... :) First as of today I've lost 59lbs, which is a HUGE transformation. I still have a ways to go but I'm doing it! I'm making the necessary changes to become healthy and whole for my family. It feels great, it's exciting, it's hard, it's all those feelings wrapped into one. But as I have been transforming my outsides I'm finding that I'm transforming so much of my inside as well... I'm finding things out about myself that I don't like, issues I've never dealt with, issues that I struggle with that I've never seen. It's becoming a journey not only to become a healthier me on the outside but to become a stronger, more secure, whole person on the inside too.
I realize each night when I run my 3.5 miles around my neighborhood that I'm gaining strength... I'm able to run longer, harder and sometims faster...depending on the wind.. :) As I reflect tonight I'm also realizing that I'm gaining strength inside as well. I'm finding a desire to know and seek my God and to not be afraid to call him my Father. I'm finding a desire to have deep, meaningful relationships with friends and yet finding I'm not 100% sure how to do that, I'm also finding that my failures don't define me and I shouldn't allow satan to convince me otherwise. So many times satan will remind me of failures of my past... he will tickle those memories with guilt or feelings that I don't want to experience like pain and sometimes sadness for the loss of those relationships. At a church rally not too long ago our speaker was speaking on this and she said that satan sometimes reminds her of her past and she has to remind herself that God has erased it. He has forgotten the sin, the acts, all of it, we are blameless to him and if we allow satan to walk us down that road of memory than we aren't allowing grace and His gift of forgiveness to be fully felt.
As my body transforms..somedays so slowly, I am again reminded that I am a new creation. The old is gone and the new has come. A lot of friends and some family don't fully understand my healthy eating habits, why I deprive myself of things I once ate/drank, why I have gone to the extreme that I have to get healthy. But I feel like finally, FINALLY, I have the modivation, I have the will power, I have the ability to take my life and make it what it needs to be, not only physically but spiritually. I want to completely run away from the things that made me fat, that kept me weighed down with pain, hurt, sorrow and guilt and break free and be that new creation God has promised. It feels so freeing!!!! It feels so good to finally becoming the person that God has called me to be!!!!
The family is good.. Maddux is a crazy 2 1/2 year old who just figured out how to jump with both feet!! :) He really is the best blessing I have ever received!!!!!!
I can't wait to see what transformations God does in me this month...both physically and spiritually.
I realize each night when I run my 3.5 miles around my neighborhood that I'm gaining strength... I'm able to run longer, harder and sometims faster...depending on the wind.. :) As I reflect tonight I'm also realizing that I'm gaining strength inside as well. I'm finding a desire to know and seek my God and to not be afraid to call him my Father. I'm finding a desire to have deep, meaningful relationships with friends and yet finding I'm not 100% sure how to do that, I'm also finding that my failures don't define me and I shouldn't allow satan to convince me otherwise. So many times satan will remind me of failures of my past... he will tickle those memories with guilt or feelings that I don't want to experience like pain and sometimes sadness for the loss of those relationships. At a church rally not too long ago our speaker was speaking on this and she said that satan sometimes reminds her of her past and she has to remind herself that God has erased it. He has forgotten the sin, the acts, all of it, we are blameless to him and if we allow satan to walk us down that road of memory than we aren't allowing grace and His gift of forgiveness to be fully felt.
As my body transforms..somedays so slowly, I am again reminded that I am a new creation. The old is gone and the new has come. A lot of friends and some family don't fully understand my healthy eating habits, why I deprive myself of things I once ate/drank, why I have gone to the extreme that I have to get healthy. But I feel like finally, FINALLY, I have the modivation, I have the will power, I have the ability to take my life and make it what it needs to be, not only physically but spiritually. I want to completely run away from the things that made me fat, that kept me weighed down with pain, hurt, sorrow and guilt and break free and be that new creation God has promised. It feels so freeing!!!! It feels so good to finally becoming the person that God has called me to be!!!!
The family is good.. Maddux is a crazy 2 1/2 year old who just figured out how to jump with both feet!! :) He really is the best blessing I have ever received!!!!!!
I can't wait to see what transformations God does in me this month...both physically and spiritually.
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