Loved
So I have been running every Saturday morning for about a month now. Each week the distance gets farther and harder and I often doubt my ability to do it, especially about the half-way point. :o)
This morning as I started out my run (a little later than normal cause I didn't want to get out of bed) I received a call from my Mom about a death in the family. It was horribly sad and although I didn't know this person very well and it had been a long time since I last saw him and it was tragic and shook me. So as I'm walking, running and crying I begin to feel a sense of something or someone. I can't explain it except I remember at one time during my run around 2.3 miles I just looked to the side of me and said "Jesus run with me. Don't leave me alone" and in that moment I heard "you are never alone, of course I'll run with you". Now I'm not saying Jesus spoke directly to me. There was no bright light, no words of thunder where I could audibly hear but it was a still quiet voice in my head and heart. How often I question the quiet voice. Is it just me saying to myself what I want to hear? Am I just making it up? And sometimes it might be, but today it was reassurance and peace that came with the voice. And while I ran I felt though alone to everyone who saw me I was very much running with a partner. There were times I felt like giving up, like turning back and only doing 7 miles and at the right moment my Pandora station (which rocks) would play a song just for me that I HAD to hear. For instance once when I was about to turn around this song "run" came on....so I kept running. Another time "I can't do this alone" came on and I wept as I ran because how true is it that I can't do this life alone. And last at the end of my run while I was depleted and freezing "You are not alone" came on. As I ran I felt the presence of God, which doesn't happen to me often. I was reminded of His love for me. And how much He cares for even the smallest details of my life, like me training for a half marathon. What a feeling to KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you are loved like that. And I was reminded that a lot of people don't know that love. They search and search, they pour countless time into jobs, money, people, other religions trying to find that love that their soul searches for. As I type I can think of many friends just searching and longing for the love that I know. I know that it is not politically correct to say this but who cares about political correctness... I don't, God really is the only person who can fill that love hole in you. Other religions, people, money, cars, fame, herbal remedies, jobs wont do it. God is searching after each of us, earnestly and persistently. Do I always remember this and rest in His love, NO. I wish I did. I wish my run today was evidence enough to remember on the days that I'm searching and filling that hole with other things. I'm still a work in process and probably will always be.
I don't want someone else, friend, family or enemy to leave this earth (as we all will) not knowing God's love. That God wants to be in your life, in the most mundane, trivial aspects of your life and I'm SO grateful for that. Now if I can remember it as I go about my day!!! :o)
This morning as I started out my run (a little later than normal cause I didn't want to get out of bed) I received a call from my Mom about a death in the family. It was horribly sad and although I didn't know this person very well and it had been a long time since I last saw him and it was tragic and shook me. So as I'm walking, running and crying I begin to feel a sense of something or someone. I can't explain it except I remember at one time during my run around 2.3 miles I just looked to the side of me and said "Jesus run with me. Don't leave me alone" and in that moment I heard "you are never alone, of course I'll run with you". Now I'm not saying Jesus spoke directly to me. There was no bright light, no words of thunder where I could audibly hear but it was a still quiet voice in my head and heart. How often I question the quiet voice. Is it just me saying to myself what I want to hear? Am I just making it up? And sometimes it might be, but today it was reassurance and peace that came with the voice. And while I ran I felt though alone to everyone who saw me I was very much running with a partner. There were times I felt like giving up, like turning back and only doing 7 miles and at the right moment my Pandora station (which rocks) would play a song just for me that I HAD to hear. For instance once when I was about to turn around this song "run" came on....so I kept running. Another time "I can't do this alone" came on and I wept as I ran because how true is it that I can't do this life alone. And last at the end of my run while I was depleted and freezing "You are not alone" came on. As I ran I felt the presence of God, which doesn't happen to me often. I was reminded of His love for me. And how much He cares for even the smallest details of my life, like me training for a half marathon. What a feeling to KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that you are loved like that. And I was reminded that a lot of people don't know that love. They search and search, they pour countless time into jobs, money, people, other religions trying to find that love that their soul searches for. As I type I can think of many friends just searching and longing for the love that I know. I know that it is not politically correct to say this but who cares about political correctness... I don't, God really is the only person who can fill that love hole in you. Other religions, people, money, cars, fame, herbal remedies, jobs wont do it. God is searching after each of us, earnestly and persistently. Do I always remember this and rest in His love, NO. I wish I did. I wish my run today was evidence enough to remember on the days that I'm searching and filling that hole with other things. I'm still a work in process and probably will always be.
I don't want someone else, friend, family or enemy to leave this earth (as we all will) not knowing God's love. That God wants to be in your life, in the most mundane, trivial aspects of your life and I'm SO grateful for that. Now if I can remember it as I go about my day!!! :o)
Comments